This past year has been difficult to say the least. I am now in my mid 40's and it is kicking my butt. I have learned new terms I now have to associate with my life like, Peri-menapausal, and pre-hypertension. Every time I go to the Dr. I am asked when my last Mammogram was. Mostly, being in your 40's is about going to the Dr. and feeling violated but being assured it is all for your own good. I am not so sure about that but since it is a new year I am taking back my body. The Dr.'s and mid-forties can't have it anymore.
Over the last couple of years I have gleefully accepted the gift of 20 additional new pounds that reside in my belly and my butt. They haven't really bothered me except when I want to wear pants but I have found that if I simply buy new, bigger pants it solves the problem. My personal call to action came when my heart started yelling at me and then my Dr. I get to take a tiny little pill everyday now if I am going to continue to nurture my 20lb fat baby and it is kind of a hassle sooo....decision time. I suppose the 20lbs will have to go. I am a little sad about it because I worked really hard on it. Chicken Fried Steak and mashed potatoes with that amazing white gravy was carefully selected to be my path to fatness. Eating whatever you want, whenever you want, and not really exercising is awesome! It was a great ride. Feeling like garbage all the time was just an annoying side effect.
What happens now? Salad, veggies, lean meat and fish, and the dreaded EXERCISE! The food part hasn't been too bad. Thankfully there are wonderful little recipe posts everywhere on Facebook and an entire population of people who are committed to us all eating healthier. I am grateful for the support and yet, I want that Chicken Fried Steak. I am sure there is healthy version on the internet somewhere. A well meaning healthy person tried to make it low calorie and low fat and made something that tastes like my leather shoes. Thanks for trying healthy person. Good effort but you are missing the point entirely. It is supposed to be horrible for your body. That is what makes it taste so amazing. The fat and the calories are necessary for the orgasmic groan that happens when you put it in your mouth.
I have started walking and even ran for 1 whole minute today. Believe me, it's an accomplishment. I do feel better and I like salads. I used to buy lettuce just so it could rot in my fridge but now I actually take it out and make it into something. It turns out just owning healthy food and being in close proximity to it doesn't make you healthier.
I have begun to calculate exactly how much I will have to move to justify a Chicken Fried Steak meal and I will get there. It was just take a while. It is crazy what can motivate you to get healthy. My motivation is to get my body working well enough again so that it can metabolize the meal that got me here in the first place. I could try to be normal and just want to fit into my favorite smaller size clothes but I came to terms with that failed dream years ago.
I have been here before, trying to loose extra weight that is crushing my skeletal frame. I have had three children and have always liked Chicken Fried Steak and butter and cream. I don't feel like I need to give any of it up, just moderate its presence in my life. It has been one week and I am doing pretty good. I haven't dropped 10lbs or anything like those infomercials say will happen, but I do feel better and am sleeping better which is a huge win as far as I am concerned. I don't own a scale either. It seems a bit misogynistic to traumatize myself everyday. I have no idea how much I weigh and I really don't care. My pants will tell me when I am good.
Loosing weight is like saying goodbye to an old friend. Not really the fat but definitely the lifestyle. Forty somethings don't have the luxury of living a carefree food life anymore. You twenty somethings, just wait. It is coming for you. Stock up on the Tums now.
