Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Professional Clutz, Don't Try This at Home!

There are many things that should never be done at the same time because the results could be disastrous.  For instance, texting and driving or in my case talking and walking. 
Most morning are hurried in homes full of children that need to get to school and parents who need to get to work.  How we all make it out the door some mornings is a miracle.  As the "mom" I spend most of morning shouting exclamations to my children.  "Get dressed!", "Eat breakfast", "Stop talking and just eat!", "Brush your teeth", "Brush your teeth now and stop playing in the bathroom!", "Get your backpack!", "Don't forget your lunch!", "Let's go!".  There are many more but you get the idea.  No normal conversation occurs between me and my children in the morning.  I suppose I have conditioned them to be this way but I don't know how to do it differently and get the same outcome.  Perhaps Dr. Phil could weigh in. 
This morning was no different than any other except for the fact that I needed to get to work.  I volunteer in the kitchen of the Ogden LDS Temple every week.  I wanted to go to cooking school, but we can't afford it and I already have a full time job helping my children to successfully reach adulthood so getting paid doing anything is out.  I figured the next best thing was to work in a kitchen and learn from other people who had already gone to cooking school.  It has been fabulous!! 
I digress.  This morning I needed my children to be on time so that I could be on time.  I woke up early, showered, got dressed, put on make-up (this rarely happens), did my hair (this happens even less than the make-up) and began to race down the hall yelling orders at my children to get out of bed, I had to go soon.  In my haste to get down stairs I failed to factor in the skill required to carefully navigate stairs so as not to kill yourself combined with mommy nagging. 
I hit the top step with a bound and went for the second step only to find it didn't quite connect with my foot;  my really clean, dry, bare foot.  My bare feet had absolutely no traction and the dry winter weather doesn't help.  My foot went out from underneath me and I fell on my posterior and began to slide down the stairs rapidly.  Unfortunately my arms were already gripping the stair rails and I just grabbed them harder to try and stop myself.  This produced rather acute pain that I am really starting to feel now in my arms and neck.  My lower body launched down the stairs while my upper body was trying to hold me back.  Trying to change the laws of physics is painful.
When I finally stopped.  I noticed my husband standing at the bottom of the stairs staring at me with that horrified look I know so well.  It is a combination of how much is this going to cost and what part of her will be damaged now.  I assured him I was fine and I am pretty sure I was embarrassed.  Although, embarrassment isn't an emotion I express regularly anymore given the many opportunities I afford myself to be injured. 
Now that night is upon us, I can tell you my neck and shoulders are really sore.  I may need to see a chiropractor but I probably won't.  I have taken great care to pay attention as I have encountered stairs through out the day.  Doing this twice in one day would probably get me membership in a 12 step program.  Oh well, as my mom always says, "this too shall pass".

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